Swandives

There was a time when I swore blind I would never marry. And I still think that, had I not met my beloved, I’d be a lone sole in the world. But there are times when the universe, thankfully, decides otherwise.

And the nice thing is that some of the best bits of our courtship (such an old fashioned word, but wonderfully evocative) were recorded for posterity thanks to the modern wonder of email. Here is an excerpt, in which I explain my supposed prediliction for single life - highly ironic in hindsight of course. This comes in halfway through the conversation, but needless to say Mike has just made a comment that I considered rather salacious:

Mike!!

I’m blushing.

Clearly, I’m outclassed here. On so many levels.

“Pure mind” indeed!

—– Message—–

Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 10:20 AM

Subject: RE: married yet?

Why are you blushing …

I didn’t think I said anything that embarrassing – did I?

Outclassed … pourquoi?

Pure mind - of course, what else would it be. I claim to be “horribly misunderstood”. All that innuendo is in the mind of the beholder, you see.

mikexx

—– Message—–

The innocent act will not work. You have no defense. That email is positively racy.

>My mind, pure as it is, has done nothing to your ‘umble box, umm, of a flat.

I cannot confess to being so irreproachable that this went over my head.

However I like to at least project the illusion that I am nice little daddy’s girl from the north shore, whatever the realities…

I had a moment of realisation the other day. It occurred to me that it would be far more liberating were I to embrace being young and single rather than maintaining the citadel mentality that has loomed over me for the last two years. I have the advantage this time around of having that most desperate of belief systems knocked out of me - being in love is complete bollocks.

Like religion, the idea of true love is a social meme that is perpetuated by romance novels and soppy ballads. The realisation of this was initially devastating (and not surprisingly as it was coupled with a breakup), but I am beginning to see it also holds advantages, in terms of my being happy.

This, Michael, is why I will never wed. It has nothing to do with Qld boy. I suspect you already know that I am all talk on that subject - a mere diversion to make me sound more interesting;)

You are probably nodding knowingly, smug in the knowledge that all this Has been said before by countless young things, many of whom have found themselves with a couple of snotty-nosed little ‘uns tugging at their skirts five years down the track. Well, all I can say is you are not the only one who feels horribly misunderstood;)

Me, me, me, me, me. You have an uncanny knack, my boy, of luring me into discussing things that would normally remain mere whisps of consciousness.

I wish to turn the tables. Are you happy with your lot at [publication], objective as it seems to be? Do you deliberately put yourself up as a Greek chorus to the follies of [company name], or is it just coincidence?

xg